Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
