I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
