Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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