he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
