I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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