I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
