sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We're like a lot better than the average bears
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
