YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
