dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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