You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Randomize
