marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
