Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
