Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
