Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Randomize
