I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
