A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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