did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
