We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
