Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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