Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
