What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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