HIV tests are more positive than that guy
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
