she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
