Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
