he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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