I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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