Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
