Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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