marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
