lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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