"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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