it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
