areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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