Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
