I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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