my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
