i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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