at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Randomize
