Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
