garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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