I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
