Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Two words: nipple clamps
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