I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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