But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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