You're completely useless in the revolution.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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