Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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