i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
ugly people sure do ruin things
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
