plz talk dirty to me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
