I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Too much gin, very little bucket
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
