You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
