ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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