Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
