i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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